So My Heart Is Broken

Now don't go getting all worried about me over thinking its over some guy, which it is, but not in the way you think. In the past 3 weeks or so I've see my faith in Jesus go from something I believe in my life, and from seeing it change others, to what is going on now, seeing it being a super need in the life of someone. If you come from a similar thought like mine on Jesus, and especially if you know me, you'd probably think that I've definitely see situations where I thought Jesus was the only answer and while that is true in certain aspects, it has been pinpointed in such a way now that my heart feels so strongly that my friend, we'll call Z, can only be helped by a relationship with Jesus. My friend is a smart, sweet, intelligent, caring, fun, good looking person. But for whatever reason Z has almost zero self-esteem. Z thinks he's this horrible person, and for the life of me I cant figure out why. Ever since I met Z I've really liked him, for all those reasons I said before. But in the past 2-3 weeks he's gotten so depressed and bummed out, and he cant say why. He's just so sad about everything in his life. And he tells me often that one of the things he likes about me is that I seem like Ive got it figured out. I dont let things bother me, I dont worry, I am calm and happy. But thats not cause of me, but cause I know Jesus. Without Him, I'd be in the same place as Z. So for the past week I've been so sad cause when we talk I can tell theres this barrier there for him. And i've felt, like I've never felt before, that this guy really really needs to know Jesus. Not that knowing Jesus makes all your problems go away, and leave you happy all the time, (since obviously right now I am not happy about this.) But it does give you a peace and a joy that underlies everything else that is going on in life. And that is what this guy needs. Peace and joy. And like I said before, Ive never felt so strongly about someone needing to know Jesus. And sometimes I lie in bed a shed tears because my heart is torn in two for this guy, and with the knowledge that I, myself can do nothing. And it seems that Z can do nothing too, which I think may be one of the reasons I know that Jesus is his salvation from this. So for the first time in while (I am sad to say) Ive been pleading with God to reach Z. Prayer is still one thing that confuses me in my relationship with God, its a mystery, but thats for another post.
If something changes with Z, I'll be sure to post it here. Thanks for reading. Sorry its been awhile since the last post. Montana winters kinda make you lazy.

Here is me and Elizabeth out celebrating the new year. Most people I know just kinda hung out at the ranch, but me, liz and two other people I work with wanted to at least go out somewhere, so we just went out to this local place around 11 last night. It was deserted, but that was kinda nice cause we got all this fun, free stuff, like these awesome hats we are wearing. Welcome 2006!

X-Country Skiing. Two of my roommates from this summer are out here right now for a week and a half visiting. Yesterday we went out on the ranch for some skiing. I was trying to set the camera up on a post to take this picture, I sank down in snow up past my knee when I stepped off the trail, thats how much snow we got out here right now.